In . Or . Out

“Are they your children?”

The people asking me were staring out towards the rocks jutting out into the sea. Two children were standing there. Seemingly close to the edge. The crashing waves looked like they would surely tumble over them.

The questioners looked anxious, fearful.

“Yes, they’re mine,” I said. “But they’re fine. They go out there all the time.”

I chatted a little bit longer to reassure them, then headed off on my ritual walk along the beach.

Walking, two things struck me.

The people asking after my boys seemed fearful. But the fear didn’t seem to be for my children, the people themselves seemed scared. Were they imagining themselves out there? Was the activity my children were revelling in so foreign to them? Had they had a frightening experience themselves around water?

One of the group had even asked me if my feet weren’t cold - looking down at my bare feet upon the wet sand. She seemed incredulous that I would walk barefoot on the sand on a day that was a bit of a mixed bag with sun and rain and wind.

After this question the paradox struck me; here were my children and I immersed in something we love and are familiar with - and there were others, looking but not joining in and expressing concern and fear. 

How often do we say ‘Be careful’, “Watch out’, ‘Don’t do that’ without being aware of what we really mean and without thinking about the fear we are projecting?

What is also interesting is that if the group had chosen to simply make the most of the situation they were in and actually walked around the rocks to where my children were, I’m sure they’re perception would have been changed.

But standing on the shore where they were, they couldn’t see a lower level of rocks stretching out before my children, which in fact created a barrier between them and the sea. The people also didn’t know that my boys changed positions according to the tide and movement of the waves (always allowing for the possibility of freak waves).

Perception and fear are interesting companions. Which one do you think has the greater influence?