To . Sir . With . Love

Whenever I hear Lulu’s To Sir With Love I am immediately transported back to my English class in my final year of high school. 

My teacher was Mr. Collard. He encouraged me, challenged me, pushed me, believed in me.

I don’t think that I realised how significant he was to me and I know that I never properly thanked him.

As the song plays, I’m crying for what I was, for the girl I left behind.

I wish I had the insight to really hear your message. It has taken me too many years to believe in myself, my writing.

I remember within the first week of school you asked my permission to photocopy my first English essay for the year; an analysis of John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath to distribute to all in the class for analysis.(You thought it was a briliiant piece of writing.)

I’m crying because I didn’t take your words fully to heart.

And I’m crying because I didn’t properly thank you.

I’m crying for the wasted years, the lack of confidence, the lack of awareness that this was/IS my thing. 

I’m crying especially because I didn’t realise what you were saying to me

You really believed in me.

And I’m sad that you will never know how so very grateful I am for planting that seed of belief in me. Yes, it has taken a long time for that seed to start growing - but here I am and I just want to sing to you ….

“If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters that would soar a thousand feet high

To Sir with Love …”