Have . A . Go

Growing up, somewhere along the line I must have learnt that failure was bad. I remember that there were many times that failing meant that I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.

For some reason, I equated failure with not being good enough; somehow thinking that the failure made me less than.

Today, one of my children was terrified to attend an on-line language immersion. 

We had a long discussion. I tried to be understanding and supportive. I talked about ‘giving it a go’, that the focus was not on how well he did compared to others but that he pushed himself and stretched himself. I talked about growth happening when we lean into uncomfortable feelings.

I talked about it being okay to be scared. With empathy I tried to help him see a different perspective. 

What I was saying to him was so important to me. Important because those were the words I wish that someone had said to me. Words which may have helped me during times when I was assessing my self worth, times when I was either fleeing from or paralysed by fear. 

Fear is a heavy cloak to wear. It controls and debilitates in many underhanded ways. It pretends its role is to keep us safe but all it does is keep us in a straightjacket. Limited, lesser, smaller. 

For my children I wish them the freedom to explore their full potential, free of self imposed limitations and self doubt. I wish them this wholeheartedly as I know the shadow of having such fear in my own life.