No . Is . Okay

Elton John sang, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word ….”

And yes, for many of us there have been times and situations when saying sorry has been difficult. However, while sorry IS a hard word to say I don't think that it is THE hardest. 

From my own experience, ‘No’ is definitely THE hardest word to utter.

It is hard to say it because it comes weighed down with our own upbringing, experiences, hurts and disappointments.

To say ‘No’ to a loved one is especially difficult as it can involve feelings of guilt. (Am I ‘letting them down’? Am I being selfish?)

As a mother, my challenges have been to allow myself some time to do what I need to do for my sanity and soul (such as writing, exercising, having a coffee) without feeling guilty or feeling that I am somehow ‘less of a good mother’.

In many ways I have been contradictory. I have encouraged my children to voice their likes and dislikes without judgement from me. I have wanted them to feel that their opinions are valued. Yet somehow along the way I tended to put my own needs, desires and wants behind that of the rest of the family.

I have been learning to value myself more and ‘have my own back’. In order to do that I have to acknowledge that there are times when I simply need to say ‘No’.

Because ultimately, ‘No is okay.’