Fully . Awake

“We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.” 

— Pema Chodron, Living Beautifully : An Inspirational Journal

Having typed the above quote, I looked up away from the screen, my eyes drawn to the distant sky. No longer heavy and grey, it was now illuminated. Wow. An illumination that I felt stirring within me after reading Pema Chodron’s quote. In the short time it took me to type, the sky had changed, the world looked different. And perhaps I, too, was looking at the world differently. 

In Pema’s introduction to her Inspirational Journal, she talks of each one of us having what we need within us to reach enlightenment. It is not that we need to fix ourselves or throw out all those things about ourselves that we feel is ‘bad’ or ‘wretched’. These feelings and identities “are like clouds that temporarily block the sun…But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here.”

For someone who so easily berates themselves for falling short of my own measure, who agonises over misdeeds and missed opportunities; it is heartening and somehow freeing to consider that it all really is part of who I am and part of the process of becoming. That it all contributes to learning and growing, if I let it. That the messiness is part of that process. After all, how can we have cake without mixing all the ingredients, as messy as it could be at times?

To see myself as taking steps on a journey; that there are bumpy and rough parts along with less challenging terrain, makes it feel easier to view it all as essential and relevant and needed. And somehow perfect in its own way.